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Especially if you are someone who is dealing with a lot of stress, you might find the science-lingo to be throwing off, or overwhelming. This is why I try to give you real-life examples and a hopefully better to digest language on these topics – with todays focus on complex-PTSD. Please ensure you have something to drink, your favourite emotional support person, pet or item with you and make sure to take breaks in case this ruffles your feathers a bit too much. Especially our healing-journey-newbies might experience some sort of stress / anxiety, in that case, you can find my SOS tools on the right menu bar →
Scientific Data on c-PTSD
Here are links to official websites, where you can read in scientific-lingo about the current data and facts, regarding complex-PTSD. These pages are important, and the sources are reliable, yet it is absolutely okay, if you feel overwhelmed and maybe struggle to grasp entirely what they say because oftentimes science is not very “layman-reader”-friendly to begin with. Let alone for stressed out brain.
Short Introduction
C-PTSD, or complex post-traumatic stress-disorder, is the definition for a disorder caused by repeatedly traumatizing events. Science calls this “chronic trauma”. The pool of triggers grows with each event and year that a person is not getting out of the initial situation, as well as not going through therapy. “Complex” really is the tune for this cluster of problems / this disorder, because of old wounds and radioactive mental structures that might sabotage us for decades on end if we don’t intervene. But that is why we are here today, right? So let’s get started, by shorty exploring…
The Difference between PTSD and c-PTSD
I have dedicated an entire blog to this question as it really is important, so you can read this one here:
But to make it short-short:
A PTSD has a set pool of triggers, and occurs after one traumatic event. It comes fast, it hits hard, but it does not “grow” typically… Imagine it, like breaking a plate, by dropping it on the floor.
A complex-PTSD can have a limitless number of pools of triggers and forms over years or even decades on end, lowering the life quality of a person and their resources tremendously, but slowly. It “grows” over time, and evolves into a multilayered problem-cluster. Imagine it like cancer. It starts with one event, but it invades other tissues, grows there into something slightly different and causes other symptoms and problems. Even getting rid of the initial cancer cell cluster, will not solve the other clusters automatically that have formed over the course of time – because they are similar, but not quite identical.
Science to this day states, that a complex
-PTSD has all PTSD typical symptoms, plus: a difficulty to regulate one’s emotions and actions in the given moment (affect), a very negative self-image of being worthless, defeated, and unwanted in the world, plus significant issues of sustaining healthy relationships & feeling close to others.
This is why therapy & healing journeys are key here. If you are traumatized, and you make the huge step (yes, it is a huge one and nobody shall ever convince you otherwise) to take on therapy and seek professional help, you “allow yourself to heal”. And it allows your inner security system to learn new things, re-write old habits and start to align with your life again in a nurturing and non-sabotaging way.
We do not go to therapy, to learn how to deal with stress, pain and catastrophes. We survivors go to therapy, to learn how to live with peace. Like a knight coming home after years on the battlefield, we also must learn new skills and search for our new place in a peaceful time.
The core symptoms of a c-PTSD
These symptoms define Complex PTSD and are nearly always present in those who have it.
Emotional Flashbacks: Sudden, intense emotions (fear, shame, helplessness) triggered by reminders of past trauma, often without a clear memory attached. These flashbacks can be triggered by a wide variety of triggers, such as smells, colours, a place you have been to, or the voice of someone. Even the “way of speaking” by someone who is not the person who hurt you, can cause a flashback.
Difficulty Regulating Emotions: Intense mood swings, extreme emotional reactions, or feeling emotionally numb. Basically, you are swinging between the extremes, things that are no “big deals” on good days, throw you off entirely on bad days.
Negative Self-Perception: A constant and very deeply rooted complex of guilt, shame, worthlessness, or believing you are “broken” or “not enough.” Every time we get confronted with our expectations, or those of others, or even just those that, we think, * are the expectations someone might have towards us, triggers negative thought clusters. Especially if you have been punished when you have not performed perfectly, this might be a big deal for you. Even if we only discuss a small incident like forgetting to buy the milk you promised to bring from the supermarket, this can feel overwhelming.
Dissociation & Memory Issues: Feeling disconnected from yourself or reality, having memory gaps, or feeling like your life isn’t “real.” What you experience here is your brain’s struggle to “hold it all together”. It is still giving a big chunk of its energy towards protecting you from certain memories (blocked/blacked out memories), while keeping others very vibrant, to make sure you are not getting into the same dangerous situations again. You can imagine your brain like a PC unit. And instead of having capacity for the “here and now” your brain lives in the past, while predicting the future, both on rational and emotional levels. Sounds exhausting, right? Disconnecting from your own emotional world and reality, sometimes, is the only thing left to make sure your hardware will not burn through. Especially “raw” traumatic experiences (I mean those that have yet to be revisited, and worked through professionally at best), can cause you to disconnect in yourself, from yourself.
Chronic Hypervigilance: Constantly scanning your environment for danger, being easily startled, or struggling to relax. This combines with point 4, causing your brain to be “on the edge”, which also results in your body being on the edge. And both of them being on the edge, is close to being over the edge…leading us back to point 2. Our brain has a focus point of size of your thumbnail, yet it takes in 35-37 different information from your surroundings, every second. If you now have a stressed out brain and an always-ready-to-fight-or-flee body, you can imagine that there ain’t any chances for real relaxing and gaining back energy.
Avoidance & Emotional Numbing: Avoiding people, places, or emotions that might bring up painful memories; feeling detached from joy or positive experiences. The more you read, the more you will see that everything ties together. In order to function, in a world that basically says ‘function, or you cannot keep up with your job, get no money and lose your home or starve’ (overexaggerated, but our body thinks in cave-wo*man logic, if we want to admit that or not) – your body shuts down. By avoiding places, people, situations and numbing your emotions, which are boiling under your surface.
Relationship Struggles: Deep rooting trust issues, fear of abandonment, difficulty setting boundaries, or being drawn towards unhealthy relationships. This is a very brief description, but basically – you cannot be your best self, if you struggle by living in a panicking body who wants to protect you, with a panicking brain who burns through energy like a furnace. Makes sense, doesn’t it? And when you only know bad examples of relationships because this is what you experienced in your family, with your siblings, or even your first own romantic or platonic relationships…well, how shall you decide to aim for something different? This option only appears on your radar, when you have reached a certain point of self-reflection.
Inner Critic & Self-Blame : Harsh self-judgment, constant self-doubt, and blaming yourself for things beyond your control. Or to be make it blunt: The ghosts of your past are harassing you, using your own voice, when the people who used to harass you haven’t been part of your life any more. Some people are living by the cruel core beliefs of those who hurt them, even decades later. And yes, I am allowed to say that because I was no better and sometimes even today find left shards of these clusters in my behaviours or beliefs. People who experience complex-PTSD are most often the ones who are blamed for virtually anything, no matter how absurd.
Side symptoms of a c-PTSD
Not everyone experiences all of these, but they are frequently linked to complex-PTSD and I can tell you: They were/are absolutely part of my own experience, so do not slide them off as “Ah, don’t matter, could be something different!” I know they look a bit like “too unspecific”, but they are important and should not be dismissed.
Somatic Symptoms : Chronic pain, digestive issues, migraines, or other physical health issues with no clear medical cause. Especially in kids and teens, from my experience, somatic issues are a lot more dominant. Many of them/us learn to ignore them because there is no room for care and love by our guardians, or we/them cannot change our situation. May it be being bullied in school, or being stuck with a boss at your job, that you cannot leave right away. There are 7 organ disorders, first named by Franz Alexander, that have been linked to psychosomatic causes – yet, science is still trying to argue that psychological stress does not cause physiological diseases, which is wild to me. You can google his name, but will not find an English Wiki article – but here is the article for somatic symptom disorders.
Perfectionism & Overworking: Feeling like you have to constantly “prove” your worth through achievements. Being affected by a complex-PTSD oftentimes causes the irrational link in us, that we are only worthy of any good things, if we are proving that we are valuable and on the other hand, do not, never ever, be a burden to someone. Being a burden f.e when we make mistakes – which leads to an increased inner force to always be perfect.
Addictions & Self-Destructive Habits : Using substances, food, self-harm, or compulsive behaviours to cope with overwhelming emotions. This specific behaviour is oftentimes caused by what we have learned as kids. Kids who have learned from their parents/guardians how to manage their emotions, deal with them instead of dismissing them, and regulating themselves, are very less likely to indulge in the mentioned behaviours. That being said, we need to acknowledge that this world, the way it’s shaped, is currently in a state in which it’s trying its hardest, to get us addicted. With artificial foods that are so much perfected, that saying “no” is as hard as running a marathon. Advertisement that is based on psychological knowledge. And don’t get me started on shopping-addiction, gambling, porn/sex-addiction and many more. An addiction is always a way to “avoid feelings”, or – get into a position that you are feeling at least a teeny tiny spark of joy in your life. However, it might be for you or your loved ones – addiction or compulsive behaviour are like a painkiller pill to a problem that will still be there when the pill wears off. And most often, the result of our actions will dramatically increase the pain, guilt, shame and overwhelming state we were in already, before we f.e opened that damn bottle of whisky.
Had a bad day? Chocolate!
Had a great day? Pizza!
Having a heartbreak? Ice cream!
Want to show affection towards someone? Gift them a box of pralines!
…The food industry prays for us, knowing that in times of war, food scarcity and other life-threatening factors, food was one of the most used love languages. May it be the big piece of fish, your dad gives you after he was out there hunting for 10hrs and chopping wood. Or the good chocolate your grandma held back, so she could give it to you and you alone.
Giving someone food as a sign of love and admiration is nothing entirely bad, the same as treating yourself with your favourite comfort food once in a while.
But don’t let big companies them cash out on your love language or your emotions.
Oh shieeet, I apologize for rambling, I could go on about this for hours – next topic!
Identity Confusion : Not knowing who you really are, struggling with self-worth, or feeling disconnected from your past self. To me, this is one of the most painful side effects, that can throw one off, effortlessly. If people punish you for not meeting their expectations, but all of them have different ones! Plus that you have never had the chance to evolve your own self identity (which changes over time naturally too) – how can anyone expect you to know and feel who you are, at all? Especially my brave souls who had to provide service to others to not get harmed, and got told they are not good enough / they are wrong – I see you. You are on a good way, keep going. You will heal and while you do that, you will find your morals, your self-chosen-boundaries and expectations towards yourself, the world and the people around you. It will get better.
Sense of Meaninglessness: Feeling like life has no purpose or struggling to find fulfilment. When you don’t know who you are, and what you want from life, and maybe even where you came from in the first place – it can be quite a struggle to find a meaning and purpose for one to get out of bed in the morning. People with complex-PTSD are confronted daily, with their wounds, may they be old or new. Healed or still leaking and radioactive. And most of us have a long route behind us, when we first find real shelter and a place to rest and heal. And even then, we stand up and fight and grow and make progress, all until life throws another challenge, that makes us feel like this pain will never end. The truth is, life won’t get easier – but you will get stronger. And all the things you leanr through therapy about your past, your family / surroundings and yourself will become part of your toolkit into a great future.
Phobias & Extreme Fears: Fear of conflict, abandonment, authority figures, or being seen as “weak.” There are plenty of things we can grow a fear towards, this may start with directly connected things from our traumas, as well as things that only have a slight connection. If you have been hurt by someone who is an authority figure – or should have been – then you lose trust, and that might accumulate if you are unlucky to experience this multiple times. A small belly feeling of “Ohhh, this is scary, I feel uncomfortable’ can grow into a full-blown ‘My tummy hurts so badly, every day when my alarm goes off, and I know I have to leave to go to work/school.’ This is normal and it is absolutely okay. Your body want’s to warn you. Inhale, thank your body for protecting you, and don’t be angry with yourself for having these feelings, hmkay?
Shutdown Response (Freeze Mode): Feeling paralysed by stress, unable to take action or speak up for yourself. Imagine your brain to be like a super computer. You into problem A, and decide to take solution 1 for it. This fails, so next time you run into problem A, you choose solution 2. And the next time, solution 3. Everything fails, and fails, and fails. So, what is the reaction to failing with every solution / “way” you know, maybe even multiple times? You shut down. Your brain, basically, gets a blue screen, overwhelmed by the feeling of “I have no solution option for this any more”.
Distorted Perception of Others: Either idolizing people or expecting betrayal, making it challenging to form stable and healthy relationships. This is probably one of the biggest potholes that I can name you, given that it makes every upcoming relationship after a trauma, harder to work with. At least for the time that you are still on your healing journey. Someone who shows off the values that are important to you, can easily become your new holy figure that you will follow without questioning the situation. In the best case, this is someone who deserves your support and your attention. Sadly, we often end up with people who are similar to those who hurt us because we are primed to connect with things and behaviour that is known to us. So, being mindful, reflected and asking critical questions, will help you on that end. Well, and expecting betrayal, I think is self-speaking, even if it is probably even worse because the chance to self-sabotage is very high with this. It *is* a tricky thing, but I promise you, the more you learn about all these things, the easier it will get and the more confident you will become again. 🙂
Oh, I think I might be affected – what now?
Okay, now that you know about all the key symptoms, you probably found yourself or your favourite human in this and wonder “How will this go on and what are the odds?”. Let us first talk about the most important thing:
Complex-PTSD is something that sadly takes a longer route because we are still at the beginning of spreading the word about c-PTSD in the mental health realms. There is a chance that some people might first get a wrong diagnose, but this chance is getting smaller and smaller, as complex-PTSD is getting more widely known and recognized. It was introduced to the ICD (International Classification of Diseases) in January 2022. I am writing this blog post in spring 2025, so it is barely now acknowledged by the clinical psychology worldwide for 3 years.
I strongly recommend you to seek a professional therapist, best of someone who is focusing on PTSD/c-PTSD and psychosomatic disorders (as stress and psychosomatic are a big topic for us survivors too). The increase in daily life quality can be tremendous, and you will see that the world is not as horrific and not as exhausting, as you might experience it now to be. As someone else once said, “you are not born to suffer”. There is a real way of treating these mental complications & you (or your loved person) deserves to live a happy, not daunting, not chronically exhausting life of pain, fear and guilt.
The first steps you can take now, if this is regarding you personally, could be:
- Seek your normal health practitioner and ask them to get a referral to a psychologist or a psychotherapist. Depending on your country, you might need to see a psychologist first to get the correct diagnosis and then be led to a fitting therapist.
- Try to see if there are self-help groups / survivor groups in your community. If you feel unwell with people from your home town knowing that you are seeking help, and you can afford the time, try to seek a group in a city nearby.
- If nothing locally is available, check online for therapy services. Make sure you do a proper research how professional these are, but in many countries more and more insurance companies are setting up platforms for those affected, to connect with therapists online.
If someone else might be affected, try having a conversation with them.
Please, I beg of you, do not charge into their room and throw everything you just learned about complex-PTSD at them. The best way to reach someone is, that you wait for a moment, when something happens that fits the symptom criteria. Be gentle, be careful, and when the person has regulated themselves again to be calm, approach them. Sentence starters might be:
- “Hey, the situation before was super stressful for you, am I right? I hope you feel better now, and if you have a moment, I have something I want to show you/talk with you about. You might resonate with it.”
- “Hey, this morning you seemed to be in so much panic, you looked like you were not in today’s situation, but somewhere else with your thoughts. Have you been punished for situations like this in the past? [and if they say yes:] Hm, maybe you want to have a look into this topic, I have a feeling this might click with you.”
- “Hey, I know you have a lot going on already, but I thought about you and how you seem to be so under high-voltage the past weeks/months. I also remembered what you told me about your past/family, and I have something I would like to show you if you are up for it? I have a feeling this might help us navigate forward and make you feel better.”
Critical lingo-things when talking to survivors – especially those who are new to their healing journey, or might not even be aware of their potential situation, yet :
- We do not judge them for their situation.
- We do not force them to read anything.
- We do not make this about us because it is not.
- We do not bring up all their traumas, that they shared with us in safety, just so they agree to look into this.
- We do not claim to have “the one potion to cure all their pain!”.
- And of uttermost importance: We do not hold it against them if they say “no”.
Especially the last part can be very difficult and humans tend to analyse things, and apply newly learned knowledge fast, if it resonates with something that is important to us. Give your loved human time, space and the possibility to speak with you about it on their terms.
Okay, before I now make this an endless post, thank you for reading all the way until down here. I hope this brief introduction has given you a first idea about complex-PTSD. If everything works according to plan, you can now find follow-up postings in the post category window below.
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Cheers, Alka.
