Understanding Your Healing Journey: The 4 important Steps to start your Therapy & achieve healing

But here’s the truth: you’re not stuck with that weight forever. Your fate is not set in stone, and you are not “born to feel miserable”. And most important: You are worth it.

I want to give you an example outline how a “classic” healing journey may look like and give you an insight on the power it can have. You can unlock new ways to heal, feel whole, and live well. neither Self-help nor Therapy is a magic fix, but they are your strongest allies, same as bibliotherapy (aka reading books and articles, so hello – you are already making the first step!).

Choosing to heal is a big deal. It says, “I matter.” and this is something, especially in people with c-PTSD and depression, that is difficult to speak out loud. Or even think, on some days. Yet, working with your emotions and your wounds, will improve your life day by day if you put in the work.

The bitter truth is, that you are not responsible for the pain you are in, but you are the only one able to relief yourself from the pain and give yourself the chance to life your best, happiest and healthiest life.

I will not highlight them because all of them are super important and absolutely vital. ♥

• Build new ways to cope with stress in the situation
• Develop critical & practical skills to challenge negative thoughts
• Find a new connection to your inner / emotional world
• Learn to work with your emotions, rather than burying them
• Learn to understand mechanics and patterns in your life
• Understand how your past shapes your behaviour -> and your future
• Stop being the victim of your own past
• Stop being the punching ball of your own emotions/ feelings
• Learn build strong boundaries
• Learn defending these boundaries!
• Gain an understanding, and the skill, of “self-worth”, “self-acceptance”, “self-efficiency”, and “self-love”.
• Become the parent for your inner child, that you would have needed.
• Regain the control over your life.

Sometimes, the biggest barrier is the voice telling you that you’re not even worth the effort. Maybe you’ve heard that mental health struggles mean you’re weak or broken, and I just want to make this clear right here and now: That’s wrong.

I also have read and heard, and experienced, the thoughts of “I am just sensitive, I just make a big drama out of everything, when it is just nothing.” and “I am simply broken, to no repair.” or “Why would people invest time and resources in me, when I am simply a miserable being?”.

One of the biggest guilt thoughts I talked about with my own therapist was, “I don’t feel so broken, yet I am taking up a therapy place here, that someone else might need more urgently.” My community already knows me for calling out myself, and this is such an instance. This sentence alone – given that I was barely making it through the day, was in constant muscle pain and had terrible nightmares – was a red flag as large as the Eiffel Tower in Paris. And I am glad my therapist did not let me go and managed to show me how cruel I was towards myself. Always being there for others to the brink of my own collapse – but me? Getting help? While I am not half dead on the floor? Hmnaaaah. Waste of resources and time. (According to my inner critic.)

Everyone gets stuck sometimes. Stigma and self-doubt can stop you from all things even before you start, but research is strong on all the positive effects that working with your wounds can have. Yet, If you struggle with criticizing yourself, know that you’re not alone. Many young adults share these thoughts.

Starting your journey doesn’t mean changing everything at once. Actually, that can be super overwhelming and backfire easily. So let us break down what you can do now and which steps you might want to take:

• Consider professional therapy or counseling, in-person or online, if that’s an option for you. This one stands alone because it is so curcial for you, that I want you to pay extra attention. Here is a way to get into therapy, step by step:
  • Find a psychotherapist: You can use directories, consult your health insurer, or ask a general practitioner for a referral. Make sure to reflect on your current situation before, so that you can tell them exactly what you need. Here are a few questions to help you make a list to take with you for phone calls etc.:
    • How has my mood been the past 12 weeks?
    • How have I slept the past 12 weeks? (Do I have nightmares? Can I fall asleep easily? Do I “drop dead” when I lay down? Am I struggling to sleep through the night?)
    • Do I wake up well rested in the morning?
    • How well can I do my work daily?
    • How many breaks do I need?
    • Can I actually sit down and relax/recharge?
    • How easily am I annoyed/angry/irritated in daily situations?
    • Can I communicate my boundaries?
    • Do I give in easily? (To avoid conflict, or because I am too exhausted to argue?)
    • How often have I drank alcohol the past 12 weeks?
    • When do I drink alcohol typically? (At parties, when I want to relax, when I feel stressed, to reward myself)
    • Have I used other substances in the past 12 weeks?
    • How do I feel when I think about visiting my family?
    • What do I expect to happen when I visit them?
    • How do I feel when my friends ask me to go out with them?
    • How do I feel when I think about my hobbies and spending time with them?
    • How have my eating habits been the past 12 weeks? (Do I eat regularly? Do I eat a lot of fast food? Do I have appetite? Do I overeat or underheat at days?)
    • How am I feeling in regard of my family?
    • How is my marriage currently doing?
    • How are my kids currently doing?
    • Have there been any major incidents in the past couple of months? (f.e moving cities, changing the job, someone being sick, etc.)
    • Have any changes happened lately? (f.e kid going from kindergarten to elementary school)
    • Are there many conflicts throughout the week? (Small and big)
  • Contact the psychotherapist: You can call or email the psychotherapist to see if they can take you in or schedule an appointment. Some of them might refer you to first seek an appointment with a psychologist, to get a clear idea what type of therapy you need, if it is not exactly clear. Don’t take this as a personal negative impression, sometimes it is better to first get a diagnosis by a psychologist, and then the fitting therapist, before you have to change therapists mid-way seeing that you need a different approach.
  • Consider therapy options: You can meet with a psychotherapist in person, online, or by phone. Depending on the severity of your symptoms, or your current living situation – f.e people living abroad are more likely to seek online help, given that many small villages don’t have access to therapists, or the available ones cannot take on more patients. Every option is valid, and you should always aim to go for one that fits your current living situation.

And here are some small steps, aside of seeking a therapy place that you can do:

• Reach out for help; text, call, or use anonymous chat lines if speaking feels hard.
• Try short, daily self-help practices: journaling, guided meditations, or mood tracking.
• Get moving, even if it’s just a walk outside or a few stretches in your room.
• Create healthy habits, one step at a time. F.e a good sleep routine. (I will write a how-to-blog on this soon, stay tuned if this gives you trouble)
• Learn more about your symptoms with trusted resources and books on mental health self-care.
• Connect online; look for forums or social groups where you can share and get support.
• Practice self-compassion daily; even a sticky note on the mirror helps.

Healing isn’t a straight path. It is a bumpy road, with hills and valleys, mountains and cliffs. Some days, you’ll feel stuck or lost. That’s okay. Every step is proof you’re moving and changing. And this is what counts. Being consistent is more important than “being perfect”.

Yes, there also is this thing of the “perfect patient”. (…and I am clearly not one of them, and I will surely not do a blog post for that topic later on….okay, yes I was and I will.) The most important move you can make is the first one. Use these trusted resources, lean into self-help, and know that recovery is possible for you – and that you are worth it. You are worthy of healthy surroundings, worthy of support to overcome your struggles and worthy of protecting yourself and be protected.

And no, you must not earn that first. Period.

Take one simple action today, no matter how small. Each choice adds up. You’ll find, over time, that healing is not just possible, it will massively change your life and lead you to a better future.

Okay, my der brave soul – With this I want to conclude this blog post. If you find this post to be off value to you – please consider supporting me with a little coffee, to fuel me for the next posts to come! (And help me stay independent with my blog, sponsor choices and adds.♥)

I wish you now a wonderful day or night, and hope to see you soon again!
~Cheers, Alka!