So, you think you got ADHD? I might have some important news for you – c-PTSD in Disguise

So, you’re staring down an online checklist, ticking all those ADHD boxes of an online-test: forgetful, scattered, impulsive, tired from the endless slog of trying to stay on track, brain fog, sleep problems, hyperactive, disorganized… And You start to think: “That’s it, I must have ADHD. Finally, some of this chaos in my mind makes sense! Now I can go and fix all of this once and for all!”

Okay, let’s pause right there. First off, if you have ever asked doctor Google what might be the issue with your ongoing troubles, that is nothing to be ashamed about. And even though many doctors would now look grumpy at me – this way of searching for answers has brought some people to the right conclusions and eventually to the right doctors. Yet, especially in cases that are complex, we might take the wrong route, and it can corrupt our entire healing journey. So it is especially important to learn how to properly research things, and always stay open to the idea that your both, your current self-diagnosed conclusions and those of medical professionals might needed to be challenged and adjusted thanks to new knowledge and so on and so forth. The world of mental health science is evolving rapidly and even for those who are super eager to learn all the new things, it is hard to keep up. Remember: c-PTSD has only been added to the ICD11(International Classification of Diseases) in January 2022!

So, while reading this, always keep in mind that you can and should go back to your doctor and let them know if this post resonated with you and maybe ask them to check, if your c-PTSD might be hiding behind a diagnose-mask as ADHD.

Without further ado, I welcome you, brave soul to today’s article – let’s check what might really be going on.

ADHD stands for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. In plain English: it’s a brain-based difference, not a character flaw or a lazy mentality. Here’s what ADHD boils down to:

• You are born with it. which makes it a “connate neurodiversity”: ADHD is known to run in families. Yep, those genes again – and is usually noticeable when you’re young (picture the fidgety kid who blurts out answers or loses their lunch box twice a week, with granny shouting ‘Like father, like son!”).
• Core symptoms: These pop up as inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. Think: forgetting where you put your keys even though they’re in your hand, zoning out mid-conversation, jumping into things before checking the details. There is a severe lack of pre-calibration, add mixed up with what feels like 20 cans of energy drinks and a missing “red line” in-between everything we do.
• Executive functioning: This brain system is like a personal organiser, just that yours is the chaotic professor in persona. Expect lost papers, missed deadlines, and a calendar that resembles modern art, if you do not actually forget that you have one all together.
• Consistent over time: ADHD does not shift its intensity based on life circumstances. It was there, from the very beginning, and without proper treatment it stays with an astonishing consistency. No matter if you are currently under intense stress because of the essay deadline you nearly missed – or if you are on *the* holiday trip to Hawaii that you have been dreaming about for years.

Important note: Regarding the development of ADHD, I have come across different resources who are debating and currently putting their energy into research, trying to see if the Hypothesis of “extreme stress early on in one’s life can cause ADHD” is true. At the current moment, the state of the art is that PTSD does not directly cause ADHD, but it can significantly influence the manifestation and severity of ADHD symptoms. Which would make sense, given that the neuronal network for handling stress and regulating oneself is highly corrupted in both mental health diseases.

c-PTSD stands for Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. If “plain PTSD” is a house fire, c-PTSD is living in one burning building after the other – and every damn fire got started differently. This diagnosis is newer in the mainstream, but the pain is anything but new, as we are currently learning.

• Root cause is chronic trauma, which makes it an “acquired neurodiversity”: Think repeated, inescapable harm, that comes in all kinds of shapes and from all kinds of (human) sources, like long-term abuse, neglect, bullying, domestic violence. Unlike single-event trauma, this is drip-fed stress over months or years until safety feels like a foreign planet or a dream too good to be true.
• Key symptoms:
  • Intrusive memories and flashbacks (my personal note here: I think we need to elaborate that there is a difference between image-driven flashbacks, and your body experiencing a flashback all whilst your conscious mind has no idea what’s going wrong)
  • Emotional numbness (feeling “shut down”, in response to unbearable, chronic, painful emotions)
  • Chronic hypervigilance (the “danger detector” stuck on high, 24/7)
  • Distorted self-identity (feeling broken, worthless, or never safe, without an idea who you really are aside the personality that formed in response of your survival situations)
  • Trouble trusting others or feeling close in relationships (roughly speaking, there is no smooth human social connection)
  • Difficulty with attention, memory, and controlling impulses (this is where the ADHD confusion steps in)

If you would like to learn more about c-PTSD, have a look at my other article, over here: https://sitting-with-my-demons.blog/this-is-c-ptsd/

Okay, let me be honest here. While doing research for this article I found myself struck with how many symptoms, behaviour patterns etc, c-PTSD and ADHD align. And I was asking myself, how the hell can I convert this into an understandable way so that you get a better feeling of it, without me having to throw a psychology lexicon at you.

Let us imagine you are sitting at a doctor’s office, and you overhear a conversation between a parent, or a grandparent, and the doctor. They are providing first information about how the kid behaves, and I am sure you might have come across one or multiple of these in your life. May it be on a personal level or as a bystander.

ADHD-Specific Symptoms

• Observation: “He can’t sit still during dinner; he’s always fidgeting or leaving the table.”
• Symptom: Hyperactivity;
  • Fidgeting or tapping hands or feet.
  • Leaving seat in situations when remaining seated is expected.
  • Running or climbing in inappropriate situations.
  • Unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly.
  • “On the go” or acting as if “driven by a motor.”

• Observation:“She often forgets to bring her homework or loses her school supplies.”
• Symptom: Inattention
  • Difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities.
  • Frequent careless mistakes in schoolwork or other activities.
  • Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
  • Fails to follow through on instructions and fails to finish tasks.
  • Difficulty organizing tasks and activities.
  • Avoids or is reluctant to engage in tasks requiring sustained mental effort.
  • Often loses things necessary for tasks and activities.
  • Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli.
  • Forgetful in daily activities.

• Observation: “He blurts out answers in class without waiting for his turn.”
• Symptom: Impulsivity
  • Talking excessively.
  • Blurting out answers before questions have been completed.
  • Difficulty waiting for their turn.
  • Interrupting or intruding on others.

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C-PTSD-Specific Symptoms

• Observation: “One moment she is fine, the next she is crying or yelling over something small. It’s like walking on eggshells.”
• Symptom: Emotional Dysregulation
  • Intense mood swings
  • extreme emotional reactions
  • or feeling emotionally numb

• Observation: “He avoids certain places or people that remind him of past events.”
• Symptom: Avoidance
  • Avoiding thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma.
  • Avoiding activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma.

• Observation: “She seems detached and doesn’t respond emotionally to situations.”
• Symptom: Emotional Numbness
  • Can show especially when talking about things that should be emotionally “a big deal”, may it be good or bad. Some survivors talk about what happened to them, as if you are asking them about the weather.

• Observation: “Sometimes she wakes up screaming, and in the daytime, she completely zones out like she would be somewhere else. It is really difficult to get her back to the current moment sometimes.”
• Symptom: Re-experiencing / Intrusive memories
  • Aside from the lack of deep sleep, having intrusive thoughts pulling you in at daytime, is utterly exhausting. Remember, that with everything someone re-experiences, comes a giant batch of emotions they have to walk through (again).

• Observation:“ He does never open up on what is bugging him, or if he needs any sort of help. We feel so disconnected from him and his everyday life by now.”
• Symptom: Interpersonal distrust
  • Especially with people who the person normally trusts, a “closing in” and “avoiding emotional topics” should always rise concerns. Kids, same as adults, normally want to share their inner life with those of importance in their life, if they feel safe. If they don’t, that does not mean that you are to blame, but some when, caused by someone, their system has flagged people as unsafe.

If you would like to learn more about the symptoms of c-PTSD, have a look at my other article, over here: https://sitting-with-my-demons.blog/this-is-c-ptsd/

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Shared Symptoms (ADHD & C-PTSD)

• Observation: “He struggles to concentrate on tasks, even ones he enjoys.”
• Symptom: Difficulty Concentrating
  • The one can simply not “hold their mind” together and loses focus (ADHD), while the other one is so worn-out by its over-active and 24/7 on-guard security system (c-PTSD). No matter the reason, you will find both sitting on their desk, having a crisis over a homework that would have maybe else taken them 20 minutes.
• Associated with: Both​

• Observation: “She has trouble sleeping and often wakes up during the night.”
• Symptom: Sleep Disturbances
  • Insomnia, problems sleeping through, waking up tired
  • Nightmares are associated with c-PTSD!
• Associated with: Both​

• Observation: “He reacts with intense anger over small frustrations.”
• Symptom: Irritability
  • While ADHD may have some problems to deal with even more inner turbulences and lean towards impulsive behaviour (yes, outbursts count on that too), c-PTSD often struggles with the security system being alarmed by minor things as well as the emotional parts of oneself been working over-time 24/7, while triggers are doing the rest.
• Associated with: Both​

• Observation: “She often feels overwhelmed and avoids starting tasks.”
• Symptom: Task Avoidance
  • ADHD may have the problem that they are unable to even plan the task or organize themselves to fulfil it – c-PTSD is often stuck in a repeating circle of fear, overwhelm and shame, making it feel as if the task is as huge as a mountain, especially when someone else is watching them, or will later on review their work.
• Associated with: Both​

• Observation: “He is often not here at the moment! You can even talk to him and he won’t hear it!”
• Symptom: Zone’ing Out
  • While ADHD loses focus and starts thinking about what they will eat for lunch, before suddenly thinking about why they actually have a green pen, but not a blue pen and why exactly planets are shaped like orbs – c-PTSD battles with exhaustion, the lack of positive emotions (daydreaming certainly can help here) and intrusive thoughts and memories capturing their mind and holding them hostage.
• Associated with: Both​

First of: It is partially normal to not get the right one at the first sitting, which is why I am writing this blog so you can in best case “save some time” and some “pointless, but emotionally draining conversations”. Yet, it is still important to remember: Being a bit off-track is not – repeat with me – it is not the worlds’ doomsday. It happens, and it can be adjusted. Sometimes, things change, you change f.e via therapy, and things get adjusted accordingly. So breeaaaaatheeee, it is not the end of the world. Yet we try to make this as smooth as possible for you, hmkay? ♥ Good, let’s continue.

Getting the wrong diagnosis is like being handed a shiny wrench that doesn’t fit your bolt. You might get prescribed ADHD medication when your real challenge is trauma-related. Sure, the meds could calm some symptoms like restlessness, but the core struggles…nightmares, trust issues, flashbacks? They stay untouched. Sometimes, stimulants can (rarely, but sometimes) make things worse, stirring anxiety or emotional swings, turning the journey into a frustrating maze of doctor visits and doubts.

• Medication Without Trauma Support: Stimulants help focus, but if trauma is the root, they might fuel jitteriness and mood swings instead of calming symptoms.
• Overlooked Flashbacks and Triggers: Treating distraction alone misses the deeper stories replaying over and over—those feelings of being unsafe.
• Unhelpful Coping Strategies: Without addressing the real wounds, people may fall into avoidance, perfectionism, or emotional numbness. These help survive, but don’t heal.

Labels can stick like heavy chains, and especially with people who get repeatedly told, that they “should be better by now” or “hey you are already in therapy for one year!”, this can carve in serious deep wounds. It can make you feel like you’ve failed when standard treatments don’t help. Please do not blame yourself or give in to the feeling that you might be broken. You are not crazy, and you are not “broken beyond repair”. Every so often, a change in therapist or method, can unravel a different story, that will eventually lead to your healing your past wounds, or adapting to your special brain patterns.

Misdiagnosis doesn’t only steal time or confidence; it can leave you feeling broken, unseen, or doubting your own reality.

This is why having the correct diagnosis, is absolutely crucial.

The overlooked cost of mismatched care

This is the hardest to swallow: misdiagnosis steals the chance for the right help. Complex PTSD (c-PTSD) can be treated, but only if recognized. What’s lost when trauma is missed?

• Trauma-Focused Care: Therapies like EMDR or trauma-sensitive counseling don’t come into play if no one spots the trauma.
• Validation of Your Story: Without a label that fits, explaining symptoms feels like a puzzle missing pieces—and the relief of “someone gets it” remains out of reach.
• Prevention of Future Harm: Unhealed wounds leave people vulnerable to depression, addiction, or relationship struggles. The path to recovery gets pushed further away.

Experts say kids and adults with trauma histories who are misdiagnosed miss years of real support. Imagine using a map for Madrid when you’re actually lost in Manchester—walking, but not home.

If the ADHD label doesn’t quite capture your scars or survival skills, listen to that quiet voice inside. It’s okay to question, to seek the care that truly fits. Your story matters, your pain matters, and the right kind of help can make all the difference. And especially if you feel, like someone is putting you in a box – without having asked for your full story – try to empathize that you really want to get to the root of this. Not only treat symptoms.

But how can we get the right diagnosis, especially when things seem so complicated and intertwined?

Sorting out whether you’re dealing with ADHD, C-PTSD, or both doesn’t just shape your therapy—it shapes the entire way you understand yourself. This process isn’t always neat. Symptoms blend. Old stories get tangled with new ones. Yet getting heard (and accurately seen) is half the healing. If you ever feel that you’re shouting into a void or being met with a confused shrug, let’s see what makes a good assessment:

The list below is something that you can write down only for yourself, and keep it stashed away – or you can bring it to any assessment with a health care provider of your trust, to help them get a first idea of the situation, way faster. They will ask you all these questions regardless, but we all know about the waiting time to get a therapy spot – and instead of just waiting, we could also do some reflection work, and bibliotherapy (which you are already doing, by reading this article, wohoo! First step done!).

Here is a first glimpse of what this list could look like, and if you are curious to get your hands on a more detailed one with helping side notes, stay tuned and subscribe to my newsletter, so I can let you know! (I have some PDFs planned for you to use, but they will be available probably around mid of May 2025) (And yes, they will be free!)

• When did the symptoms first begin?
  • ADHD usually starts in childhood, long before big traumas appear. c-PTSD symptoms may surface later, often after chronic stress or harm.
• Is there a clear history of trauma – repeated or ongoing?
  • ADHD doesn’t need trauma to show up. But if your symptoms arrived after years of bullying, neglect, or abuse, c-PTSD could be at the root.
• What triggers symptom flare-ups?
  • ADHD is often unbothered by situations (distraction everywhere, all the time), while c-PTSD symptoms get worse in specific situations, around certain people, or after reminders of old pain.
• How do your emotions and body react when you’re stressed?
  • C-PTSD often brings tight-chested anxiety, waves of overwhelm, or numbness that seems to shield you from emotional pain.
  • ADHD frustration feels more like chronic annoyance or racing thoughts.
• What’s your safety history?
  • Have there been situations and which other people made you uncomfortable and that caused you to experience deep stress? Maybe even fear?

Now, let’s get honest: if you’re a woman or girl, the odds of getting a clean, prompt diagnosis just dropped, yes, sometimes off a cliff. That’s not because you’re less “symptomatic” or resilient. It’s because both ADHD and trauma often show up differently in girls, and the world simply misses it. (But we are getting better at it, I promise!)

Common (and frustrating) realities:

• Girls with ADHD are more likely to “mask” symptoms, means keeping chaos inside while quietly struggling.
• Emotional struggles or “sensitivity” might get labelled as anxiety, depression, or even teen moodiness, not possible neurodiversity.
• Trauma in girls and women gets dismissed as “overreacting.” The result? Missed diagnosis and years of blaming yourself.
• Internalised shame: Without the “hyperactive” stereotype, girls might feel like they’re failing at being organised, calm, or “together.”
• There’s a higher risk for co-occurring issues: anxiety, eating problems, using perfectionism as a shield.

Some evidence suggests girls and women with ADHD often face emotional dysregulation and social struggles that get overlooked or misunderstood. The expert consensus article on Females with ADHD covers these issues well. And CHADD’s piece on Why ADHD Is More Challenging for Women breaks down why so many girls never get diagnosed, or have trauma recognised, until much later in life.

If that’s your story, you’re not alone. You’re not “too sensitive” or “just anxious.” Your pain, exhaustion, and adaptations are signs you’ve been fighting invisible battles. Keep naming what hurts. You deserve care that listens to every chapter of your story.

Okay, but what now? I suspect I might have c-PTSD!?

Alright, so your checklist is lighting up, but something isn’t quite adding up. Maybe the standard ADHD tips dull the noise for a day, then the same storms roll back in. Maybe your memories feel like landmines and “just organise better” rings hollow. First off: you’re not making this up. If c-PTSD is whispering from behind the scenes, it can corrupt every effort you try to make, to get “your life together”.

The next steps don’t need to be perfect, and no you are also not following a routine, or are taking an exam here. Take the inner critic and yeet it out of the window! (What helped me personally, was to tell my inner critic here: “Hey, if I don’t get treatment, I will be a horrible friend and a horrible partner and I will not be able to succeed in all the things you want me to be perfect in!” And actually, yes, that helped a lot.) (Article on the inner critic coming soon, so stay tuned!)

Let’s get real: not every therapist or doctor truly understands trauma. Some only see scattered symptoms, not the old wounds running underneath. This isn’t about fault, just fit. Trauma-informed care means you’re treated with respect, safety, and understanding, tailored perfectly to your mental health situation. Someone who is empathic and has a lot of knowledge about viruses and winter colds, and child sicknesses, may be outstanding in their field of work – but still will not be able to work through this with you – and that is okay.

How to find the right support:

• Choose mental health professionals who advertise trauma-informed practice. Ask directly, “Are you familiar with c-PTSD and complex trauma?”
• Trust your gut during assessments. If someone brushes off your history or jumps straight to “classic ADHD,” or “classic this, classic that”, that’s a red flag. Classic is rarely the right answer. Unless we talk about music to relax. In my case.
• Consider body-based therapies (like trauma-sensitive yoga or mindfulness). Sometimes your body holds stories your words can’t say yet – but especially here make sure your health care provider has certificates and knows what they are doing.

Sometimes, even the best clinicians miss what’s really going on. You’re allowed to speak up, repeat yourself, or look for another opinion. Self-advocacy isn’t about being rude or suspecting the worst, it’s about standing up for the care you know you need (and deserve). Occasionally, the only problem was the way someone asked a question, or the way it got answered. Communication can be really chaotic, especially when unprocessed emotions are on the game field as well.

Real-life advocacy moves:

• Come in with a written list of your most troubling symptoms, questions, or stories. Whatever helps you get the words out, even if you sketch something or you collect quotes from Pinterest that resonate with you. (Ye,s that is legit.)
• It’s okay to say, “I’m worried this could be trauma, not just ADHD. Can we talk about that?”
• Bring someone you trust to appointments. Sometimes, a friend’s memory or presence keeps you anchored.
• If you freeze or go blank, ask for a pause. You own the pace. You’re allowed time.
• Don’t be afraid to ask, “What does a trauma-informed approach look like here?” or “Can you explain why you think it’s ADHD and not c-PTSD?”
• If you feel dismissed, it’s okay to seek a second, third, or even fourth opinion. Persistence isn’t stubborn or dramatic, oftentimes it is necessary.
• Take small steps and move at your own pace – no you are not behind, I promise.
• Write down your story, or even just bullet-point moments that matter. Patterns often jump off the page when you see them collected.
• Reach out to a peer, online group, or support forum focused on trauma, not just ADHD. Sometimes, other people with lived experience light the way.
• Learn easy grounding techniques for moments when symptom spirals hit: breathing, counting, or mindfully touching something around you. (Yes, this does help. No, you’re not silly for trying.)
• Remind yourself: forgetting, numbing, or feeling foggy aren’t “failures.” They’re old survival tricks—skills you learned for a reason. Thank them, gently, and start building new ones.

You’ve made it to the end, now breathe!

Instead of just throwing all of this at you again, let me make it short: You’re not alone on this. Healing is possible, and the right tools – tailored to your experience – can help you find a way back to feeling safe and whole. ❤️You know yourself best. Getting curious, and sometimes stubborn, about your own story isn’t just brave, it’s the doorway to getting the care you really need. Healing comes when the true story is seen, heard, and believed.

Sorting through tangled symptoms isn’t just a mental exercise; it’s an act of courage and self-respect. What feels like ADHD might be c-PTSD playing tricks, as you know by now, or it might be a little of both. You don’t have to pick the “right” box on your own. Finding out what’s really happening in your mind is about more than labels. It’s about giving yourself a real shot at relief and what a relief that can be, to know it’s not your fault. It has never been, brave soul.

You deserve a clear diagnosis, not just a rushed name tag. Find professionals who see past the checklist and understand why your struggles come and go, why old wounds sting, why nothing seems to work for long. Only the right story brings the right support.

If your path has been filled with wrong turns and doctors who didn’t listen, it’s not wasted time. Every step brought you here, more ready than ever to ask for what you need. Keep seeking answers! You’re not a lost cause, not too messy, not too late.

You deserve to get the support that you really need.
You don’t have to prove that you are worthy of help.
You are a human being and this alone, is all that matters.

If you can’t believe in yourself right now, that is okay.

I believe in you.

Yes, we might not see each other right now, but whoever you are out there, whatever bothers you and no matter how people treated you, I am writing this project for you and others like you.

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Thank you for reading today’s article and I hope it helped shed a little light on your situation or one of your beloved favourite human. If you want to support my work, and this project, feel free to share it with your friends or your community. And if you have a few spare coins left, you can support me with a single cup of coffee to fuel my brain cells for the next articles to come! ♥

It means a world to have you here – and now get something to stay hydrated,
walk a few minutes and enjoy the rest of your day/night!

See ya next time!

~Cheers, Alka.