Critical Resource: Sadness

Before we start, please understand that sadness is a critical part of healing. Oftentimes stuck anger covers sadness, and sadness itself is what weighs us down so much. Whatever you have read, and what brought your sadness into movement, you are doing well, your feelings are valid, and they are part of you. Your inner child, teen or even adult, must get a room to process this sadness, in order to fully being able to heal.

Sadness is not a sign of weakness, not in men nor women, nor anyone outside these spectres. It is a key function of our system, and acknowledging it, not burying it and working with it…this is a true sign of strenght.

If you feel like you need someone right now, and nobody of your support humans is available, please have a look here:

Let us now start and let us check with your sadness, to make it flow and go:

1. Sit down, or lean against something, or lay down. if you feel comfortable, have your support pet or person close to you.
2. Check if you are okay with
   • being held, may it be around your shoulders or your back, or just your hands.
   • If that feels like it is too much, ask your person to just sit by your side.
   • If you are alone, you can hug a plushie, a pillow – or your backpack.
   • If nothing is available – hug your own body.
3. Take a deep breath and close your eyes now.
4. Wander with your focus inside your body, where do you feel the sadness?
5. Try to locate the area, and imagine the feeling as a ball of deep blue energy.
6. Imagine you hugging the ball of energy carefully and keeping it close to you.
   • Inner kids often hide when they are sad and overwhelmed, is your inner kid in the ball? Or is it standing beside you?
7. Take another deep breath and start talking towards your inner child, may it be in your sight now or not.
   • “Hey XYZ, I have sensed that you are sad, and I wanted to come and look for you.”
   • “I know this might be overwhelming now, and I can imagine you are just so sad and maybe scared too.”
   • “But I am here now, and I will listen.”
   • “What makes you sad?”
8. Listen closely and address what your inner kid tells you, in a calm and carrying voice.
   • “It is okay that you feel sad now.”
   • “You are allowed to be sad, and I am here for you.”
   • “You are safe now, it is okay, if you want to cry.”
   • “That really was a huge deal, no wonder you are sad, little one.”
   • “I can understand that, and your feelings are valid – they are okay.”
   • “This was not your fault, you were a kid.”
9. Let the tears flow if they come.
10. Let the thoughts come if they want to.
11. If you feel like your breathing is too rapid, take a few moments to inhale, count to 4 and exhale. Inhale, 1-2-3-4, exhale.
12. When the big burst is out, try to focus back on your body. Can you still feel the sadness? is it still in one area, or did it spread? Is it still as dense and heavy?
13. If you can, imagine your inner kid being hugged by you.
14. Start to slowly focus on your breathing.
15. Take an inhale and imagine a light source in the middle of your chest, with a soft, warm yellow light. Now exhale.
16. When you inhale, the light gets more glowing and bigger.
17. When you exhale, the warm yellow light flows into all of your other body parts, your limbs, your neck and head, your belly.
18. Everywhere, it softly and gently eases the dark blue light that might be left.
19. So you inhale, and charge that healing light, and exhale again.
20. If you want to, you can hold your inner child for as long, as you both want, while you maybe both breathe in and out, slowly.
21. Repeat this breathing for 2-3 minutes.
22. When you feel ready, slowly move your fingers, your toes, then your arms, and your legs. Draw small circles with your head – and open your eyes last.
23. You should be back now ♥.

Please note that after sadness, which is the deepest of all feelings – oftentimes a period of tiredness comes. This is normal, and I ask you to be especially carrying and gentle with body and mind for the next couple of hours. Bringing the sadness from the depth of our core, where we buried it to survive, aaaaaallll the way out into the world, is very exhausting. You did a great job, you can be proud of yourself.

1. You can call someone who is dear to you, and who listens to you, without judgement.
2. You can take a pen and paper and write down everything that comes to your mind. Write it feely, this text is not meant for anyone to be seen, it is just something between you and your inner child.
3. Once you have calmed down from the big burst, you might want to go outside and walk for a while. This gives your body the movement and time it needs, to flush out any leftover biochemicals in your system that are normal for anger to form. 15-20 minutes are already enough.

Okay, my dear, brave soul – I hope this helped you and I hope you are feeling better by now. 🙏I know these feelings can be quite scary, and maybe it was your first time experiencing this – but despite that, I cannot see you right now, I am sure you did great.

If you have experienced these emotions first of: They are absolutely okay, and you shall never feel shame or guilt for them, yes? They are very, very normal. Depending on where they came from, they might be even old and your system stored them until now. However, it might be for you, it is good that the feelings are flowing and coming out.

A normal, profit-orientated blog would now want you to read more and spend more time here, but I don’t. I want you to be okay, so please – do something now that feels good for you and brings you joy.

If everything feels too much right now, and you are sleepy – this also is very, very normal. See if you can get your hands on something to drink, something small to eat, and maybe retreat for a small nap.

You did well, small warrior.

Rest now, and come back when you are well again.

~Alka.